Why being grateful is so important to feeling great
When people ask me for help, one of the first things I advise them to do is think about things they have to be grateful for in life. This is because such as depression, stress and anxiety cannot coexist alongside gratitude. Gratitude always shoves away depression and anxiety, in the same way that you cannot shine light into dark and it stays dark.
Many of us so often take for granted what we need to remember to be immensely grateful for – such as nature, children, family, friends, pets, a roof over our head, good health, running water, food to eat… but also smaller things too such as shoelaces, a cup to drink from, a magazine and the ability to read it…
Gratitude will give anyone positive energy and enable them to enjoy life more. On the other hand, if someone constantly fills themselves with negative stuff – from the news and social media, from who they mix with, to above all focussing on negative and lack in life – that will always play a part in many mental health conditions.
Our magnifying minds…
The fact is we have “magnifying minds”: anything we focus on grows. Whether it’s negative or positive. It’s much better to choose positive. As bestselling author and self-help motivator Dr Wayne Dyer put it: “You’ll see it when you believe it.” That is, how you think is going to be how you feel.
Our thoughts are powerful: to a great degree, our happiness or otherwise depends on our thoughts. They are the internal words that only we can hear and they have an enormous impact on our external world. Likewise, families, communities and even countries can have similar collective thoughts that become belief systems that create the world in which we live.
Wrong or right?
A major problem for many people – and it’s very common for those who are struggling in some way – is that they grew up in a household that taught them to focus on negativity and lack. It’s how they were “wired” in those formative years.
In a household such as this, the first question to any idea is always some form of: “But let’s think of everything that can go wrong with that then…” It is living through fear. A great part of getting on well in life, and very important in recovery, is to learn to live through love.
It can be done – begin with a statement that’s some form of: “Let’s think of everything that can go right with this then…” If you become friends with your mind it will undoubtedly empower you.
Write a gratitude list every day
A really simple but effective way of learning to focus on aspects of life that you are grateful for is to write a gratitude list every day. At times you might have to fake it to make it. This is especially so in the beginning, particularly if you’ve been suffering from a mental health problem including an addiction.
But just by writing a daily gratitude list, you will start to increase positivity, get your positive neural pathways used again – and so begins the process where the negative pathways start to get overgrown through not being used. Then you will find that over time you increasingly start to slip down positive neural pathways. It will lead you on to a positive way of living.
So when you’re in bed at night write down ten things you’re grateful for in life or even just for that day. It works best to write: “I am grateful for… ” at the start of every sentence. Keep the sentences brief. Then as soon as you wake up in the morning read through it. Remember too that it’s possible to write a gratitude list at any time of the day. Perhaps especially if you find yourself struggling in some way.
Keep in mind that if you’re grateful for things in your life you are likely to get rewarded with more positive things to be grateful for in life. This works I believe in exactly the same principle as if we give someone a gift and they’re grateful it leaves us feeling good, and so we’re much more likely to give them another gift – as opposed to the person who is not grateful for a gift we give them. We will be certain to have happier lives if we show gratitude for this wonderful gift of life that we’ve been given!
My latest article for Soltalk magazine: http://www.soltalk.com/comment/june-2022/
