What is recovery?
I believe we’re all born full of complete self-love, self–esteem and self-confidence. To my mind, it’s just how humans are made. But then things happen – most frequently when we are growing up – that break, shatter or crack our wholeness. This is why people end up with low on no self-love, self-esteem and self-confidence. They can spend the rest of their life looking at ways to bolster these or mask the pain they feel from the overwhelming knowing they are not what they should be or in fact not feeling like they have them at all.
Self is the common word in those three essential qualities for a meaningful and happy life. When I help people who are struggling in some way with their mental health and emotional wellbeing, or those who are seeking a boost in life, I see myself as a guide. I will help guide them to return to their true self, to recover their authenticity. That’s why this is called recovery. A dictionary definition of “recovery” is: “after a period of difficulty, the process of returning to a regular state; the process or action of regaining possession or control of something lost or stolen.”
We can be heroes
So it’s not really about getting anything new at all, although it can feel that way because it’s so long since someone was their real self. If they lost that connection to their true self when they were very young, it can feel like they know who they really are for the very first time. It’s strange and yet completely familiar at the same time – and it’s the most magical feeling of all to realise that you are who you were always meant to be. Forget about material stuff and status or power, this is all anyone really wants and needs.
So, true recovery is not about surviving or coping better, it is about restoring something that was broken in some way or regaining that which was at some time hidden away for its safety. It is to recover that which we once had. But my own experience and from what I’ve seen in many others is that we gain so much more. We become people who live through love not fear. This will take away the big internal struggles such as anxiety and depression.
My book 12 Steps To 1 Hero contains a paragraph that I think best sums recovery up:
“It is to enable a realisation that allows you to become the person you’re supposed to be, by going on a journey to find the hero inside. Consequently significantly emboldened, you can now stand tall, even during the worst periods of life: during a relationship or job rejection; as a loved one suffers with sickness; when the world recoils due to terrorism or a pandemic virus; even during the deaths of your mother and father…
“You are the one that is there for the others, you are the strong one, you are the brave and courageous, you are the calm in the storm and you are the one from where the light shines in the darkness. Isn’t that the aim, to be that one?”
Reconnecting and recharging
Some people balk at the idea that they can become a heroic person. But the word “hero” derives from Greek heros meaning “protector”. That is, you can be a person who feels protected in this world, that whatever happens you can handle it. It also means you can protect others around you. Others sense that too.
Accordingly, as you grow there will be increasingly less challenges to your healthy boundaries. People will more and more ask you for help and guidance. You are the living proof that it’s possible to make a completely positive transformation. This is a great incentive – to not only get yourself back on track (and so much more) but to also be in a strong position to help others who are struggling as you once were. This gives life such great meaning. With great meaning comes happiness.
Many people who are struggling say they feel disconnected. Loneliness and feeling alone is a big problem for a great many people. Partly because of this these people suffer from a lack of energy and positivity. But when you regain your true self, when you know that you are who you’re meant to be, you’ll start to feel connected to others again. You will also feel recharged, ready to fully live again – as your greatest ideal.
My article for Soltalk magazine.
