What are “defects of character”?

On the process that I mostly guide people through, we learn about what blocks us from being our greatest ideal – with our highest level of positive energy.

Here’s a list copied from my book 12 Steps To 1 Hero of the 14 characteristics that, very briefly explained, can be excessive and which then lead to negative emotions.

The word “defect” doesn’t sound very pleasant, I understand. However, its meaning in this context is that we are not living to our full potential, as our greatest ideal, as best as we can be.

Think of it as if you had a modern-day phone, but it only made calls… it would be defective, as it was missing so much of what it is actually capable of doing.

Or think of living in 2-dimensional black and white, when you really can live in fourth-dimensional technicolour!

Yes, six of them are on the seven deadly sins list. The word “Sin” is yelling, as explained in my book Words To Change Your Life:

Sin – deriving originally from Hebrew khata and Greek word hamartia, meaning “to fail, miss the mark”, originally used in such as archery and spear throwing.

In the Bible we learn that we are all created in the image of God. We are all little Gods then. Or as God is love as many realise, it means to do something that is not loving – and that includes self-love.

The biblical sense of sin is something along these lines: that in order to make the mark, to not fail at becoming a little God or to know the God within – that is a sin.

So the seven deadly sins, although not specifically listed in the Bible, will all stop someone becoming making the mark, they will cause a failure of that. So think about how an excess of any of these will likely cause trouble: envy, gluttony, greed, lust, pride, sloth and wrath.

Certainly such as envy, greed and sloth only lead to inner misery. If you don’t like considering the Bible, in a modern world to anyone with the human condition, so much of it is still totally relevant when looking at the meaning behind the stories.

The aspects of human nature that have become excessive – so rather than useful they are a hindrance or create huge problems for us – are sins. In 12 Steps To 1 Hero I list the 14 emotions that when excessive lead to many problems and inner unhappiness.

They are: pride, self-pity, self-centredness, selfishness, dishonesty, greed, gluttony, impatience, intolerance, lust, sloth, jealousy, envy and arrogance.

Step 4 of the 12 Steps is the discovery and uncovering of what the 12 Steps literature describes as  “personality defects”, “an index of maladjustments”, “major human failings”, “serious violations of moral principles” or “defects of character”.

They are something that everyone has in varying degrees as they are part of the human condition. They will cause us to fail, to miss the mark, to not become the greatest ideal of ourselves that we can be. Then they can be described as sins.

The following is an excerpt from my book 12 Steps To 1 Hero:

“Step 4 is about how our human instincts can exceed their proper function, it’s to discover our liabilities and to see how guilt, grandiosity or blaming others has a consequence. It identifies negative thoughts, emotions and actions that have ruled life. It reveals how even from the start, by simply having the willingness to look at and list our liabilities, that will bring light into any darkness.

As it is so inspirationally described at the start of the Step 4 chapter in Twelve Steps And Twelve Traditions: ‘Creation gave us instincts for a purpose. Without them we wouldn’t be complete human beings. If men and women didn’t exert themselves to be secure in their persons, made no effort to harvest food or construct shelter, there would be no survival. If they didn’t reproduce, the earth wouldn’t be populated. If there were no social instinct, if men cared nothing for the society of one another, there would be no society. So these desires – for the sex relation, for material and emotional security, and for companionship – are perfectly necessary and right, and surely God-given.

‘Yet these instincts, so necessary for our existence, often far exceed their proper functions. Powerfully, blindly, many times subtly, they drive us, dominate us, and insist upon ruling our lives. Our desires for sex, for material and emotional security, and for an important place in society often tyrannize us. When thus out of joint, man’s natural desires cause him great trouble, practically all the trouble there is.'”

If anyone wants to reach the best version of themselves, to realise their greats ideal, to be who they’re supposed to be – and who they can be they must be – then it pays to get good knowledge of the character traits that when in excess can cause all manner of troubles, even all wars.

It’s vital to know them, to be aware of them and top not let them get in the way of living a life full of meaning and therefore happiness.

Pride – it heads the list for good reason, and it attacks in two ways. The high haughty end is that which says inside your head or out loud such as: how dare you say or do that to the great me!

The reverse low end, that is shame, says: what would anyone think if they knew I’d done this/said that/had this done or said to me…? Sometimes this follows up with: And that I didn’t even say or do anything (to defend or stick up for myself… or to deal in any upstanding way with whatever it was that caused the resentment).

Self-pity – this is the “poor me”, and the wallowing in that. Pride and self pity are often closely related: Pride comes in on the in-breath, and Self-pity is there as the chest deflates and the shoulders sink. It can be the thought of such as: Poor me, that actually happened to me, they actually said that to me, it’s only me this sort of thing ever happens to, why always me…? Sometimes it follows up with: And I didn’t even say or do a thing…

Self-centredness – most times if you have Pride and Self-Pity, then there is Self-centredness too as it means you’re thinking about yourself too much, being egocentric, not considering the bigger picture (that you likely have no idea about).

Selfishness – this is not being kind or generous or giving with your time, money or a skill or talent that you have.

Dishonesty – this is not telling the truth, being deceitful, insincere, untrustworthy. But it is also used here in the sense of being hypocritical: that is, judging someone harshly for something you’ve done that’s similar or having a resentment against someone for something you might do similarly or the exact same if you were in their position. You can even go further and say, if you were that person in their position. It is something like “those who live in glass houses should not throw stones” or perhaps as Jesus said: “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”

Greed – having an excessive desire or appetite for material things, wealth or power.

Gluttony – greed or excess in eating, drinking or taking drugs. (The word “gluttony” is from Latin gluttiremeaning “to swallow”.)

Impatience – restless, not being able to wait; having or showing a tendency to be quickly irritated or provoked.

Intolerance – unwillingness or inability to accept such as opinions, beliefs, preferences, people, dress or behaviour that’s different than yours.

Lust – a self-centred sexual desire in which you are only thinking about yourself, your pleasure or “need” for sex (mostly as a distraction, a refuge from pain, or to escape dealing with problems or feelings).

Sloth – laziness or procrastination, reluctance to make an effort.

Jealousy – fear that your partner or romance or something you have will be taken from you by someone else.

Envy – coveting what someone else has, their possessions or qualities, traits, luck or characteristics. “Envy” is from Latin invidere meaning “regard maliciously”…

Arrogance – having or revealing an exaggerated sense of your own importance or abilities or that you know better.