Major signs of strong emotional wellbeing

My new article for Essential Magazine.

A person with strong emotional wellbeing has a healthy inner ability to manage life on life’s terms. Whether it’s stress, financial problems, a relationship break-up, trauma, illness, a bereavement, they always seem to cope with everything in an admirable way. Being emotionally strong means having the right tools in your emotional toolbox – and knowing how to use these tools.

Learn from mistakes

Someone with emotional strength lives by the mantra: “There’s no such thing as a bad thing, only things to learn from.”

By looking at mistakes as learning exercises we save ourselves from the negative emotional impact of remorse, regret, anxiety and guilt.  A person with healthy emotional wellbeing knows they can learn from anything – and so they keep on growing emotionally and getting stronger.

From then on if something similar happens, they will increasingly and instinctively know the best way to handle it. This is for themselves as well as for anyone who seeks their guidance.

Let go

Knowing certain things are out of our control means that acceptance comes so much quicker. When we have acceptance, we can move on – and that means we’re not burning up with negative emotions trying to fix something or someone that is really out of our hands.

Emotionally strong people know that there is one thing that is always in their control. That’s our own attitude: how we respond to any situation. With greater energy due to not using it up on futile things, we will then have a clearer mind to deal with anything that is on our scope.

This also means we will have more time to relax, which is another thing emotionally healthy people know they need to do every day. It will all make for better sleep too – and that clearly benefits our day-to-day emotional wellness.

Live in the moment

“Caretake this moment. Immerse yourself in its particulars. Respond to this person, this challenge, this deed. Quit evasions. Stop giving yourself needless trouble. It is time to really live; to fully inhabit the situation you happen to be in now.” Greek philosopher Epictetus said this around 2,000 years ago and it is just as important today.

Avoiding problems or anything that needs to be done only means they will fill you up, as make you feel heavy inside. But by living in the moment and one day at a time we can deal with and do whatever is there in front of us. This means learning to live by love and not fear, which is how emotionally healthy people live.

Be optimistic

Someone who’s emotionally strong will continually be directing their thoughts to positives. Focusing on abundance and all there is in life can only boost emotional wellbeing.

It also means they are instinctively optimistic. They will realise all that is good that’s given to us in life, and this creates an energetic feeling of optimism for the present as well as for the future.

Find forgiveness

Anyone with strong emotional wellbeing knows that finding forgiveness is not only positive for the world around them – but that it’s something they are giving to themselves too. It’s quite rightly been said: “Holding on to a resentment against someone is like drinking poison, and then waiting for that other person to die…”

Frequently people are furious with someone. Yet the person they have the anger towards isn’t feeling a thing! So without forgiveness, we are destroying our emotional wellbeing. Emotionally healthy people feel connected with other people (and nature). They care about others and will always listen to understand – even if they firmly disagree.

By swiftly realising and dealing with a resentment we boost our emotional wellbeing. We get rid of the power a resentment holds over us. That potency can then be for something positively healthy.

Have healthy boundaries

Keeping a healthy boundary comes naturally for anyone with emotional wellbeing. Having emotional wellbeing means you have healthy self-esteem, meaning you value yourself. You know self-love and that means healthy boundaries form easily. Everybody needs a healthy boundary – to keep the space that lets us be our true self.

Healthy emotional people also have healthy boundaries about themselves: they will take care of themselves, eat well, exercise, sleep well, think kind thoughts… This means they are at their best to be there for others who need them too. This all helps give life a sense of meaning – and from having a sense of meaning, we always get happiness.