21 ways to live brilliantly

There are some things that if you do them every day you will find they give you a good day – and even a brilliant day. What I love about these is they cannot NOT work – so long as you work them.

These are always suggestions only. Try them, I’d suggest for at least a week or two and if they don’t work for you, then at least you’ve tried them. But if they do, it makes sense to carry on doing them.

Remember, life is for living – and to become your greatest ideal.

Write a daily gratitude list

Be grateful the second you open your eyes every morning. In fact start by saying or thinking: “I’m grateful that I can open my eyes and see!”

Sometimes you might have to fake it to make it. But just by doing this, you will start to up positivity, get those positive neural pathways used again, and so begins the process where the negative pathways start to get overgrown through not being used.

Write down ten things you’re grateful for such as the food you have in your fridge, your fridge, hot and cold running water, the trees and plants you can see, your good health and wellbeing, your home, your friends, a pair of shoes without holes in, some shoelaces…

It works best to write: “I am grateful for… ” at the start of everything sentence. Keep the sentences brief.

Think of big things such as nature, your children or family. Also smaller things too that might all too often be taken for granted: some paper to write on, a shower that works, a cup to drink from…

It will get you on to the positive way of living.

Remember too that it’s possible to write a gratitude list at any time of the day. Perhaps especially if you find yourself struggling in some way.

Don’t feed yourself negativity

Don’t go on social media, read a newspaper or watch the news too much, particularly first thing in the morning.

You can of course glance at what’s going on in the world, but remember most media outlets have an agenda for you to gorge on. But don’t stay for long – if at all – on everything and everyone that’s negative in this world.

There’s a lot more positive to see and feel.

Begin the day with morning meditation

Half an hour every day is best. If you need to get up 30 minutes earlier to do it, then do so. It will give you increased energy for the day.

Beginning each day in calm and stillness and being in the now is the most energising thing you can do. If you start instead with a bombardment of what needs doing for the day, your energy is immediately getting stolen by negative emotions.

Live life one day at a time

Keep it in the day, one day at a time. It’s such a waste of energy to regret the past or worry about the future. Again, living in the day will boost your energy levels.

That means you’ll get done much more of what you want and need to do. And if your day ahead involves doing something you don’t really want to do, just remember: it’s only one day at a time.

You can also make this a smaller amount of time if one day seems too long: one hour at a time or one minute at a time works too.

Eat well

Plenty of fresh fruit and veg, more than five a day. Eat at regular times.

Don’t overeat. Take your time eating.

Make it a pleasant event, not such as eating as you walk. Sit down, relax, take your time, chew slowly, taste every bite…

It will help you digest it and get the maximum vitamins and nutrients – that will help keep you strong. Eating is one of life’s pleasures, so why rush it?

Exercise

Exercise five times a week for at least 30 minutes each time. As well as boosting us physically, it releases our natural feel-good chemicals.

When we begin to see and feel the physical benefits, it will make us feel better about ourselves and boost self-confidence.

Remember as well to exercise the mind every day by doing something that requires thought and concentration. Learn a language, read a book, watch an educational video, play chess…

Only be among positive people for you

Spend time with people who give you love and encouragement. If in doubt cut them out! 

Don’t invite pain in. With family, it can cause all sorts of emotional conflict, but you can detach with love.

This means keep a distance if need be, and stay out of needless family politics and barbed gossip. Gossip is usually just about someone trying to feel superior to whoever they’re gossiping about.

You can do all this but still be kind, caring, polite, respectful and loving. And spend any extra time you have with your positive people.

Don’t compare yourself to anyone else

Yes, those celebrities and some of your friends or family may look to have it all. But we never truly know the big picture of what’s really going on in their lives.

The only comparison is to check that you’re growing from where you once were, that you are making progress.

Remember as you do that this life is a marathon not a sprint. Often we need to give time some time – and know that if you’re going in the right direction, you’re going in the right direction.

Always have humility

Be humble about even your greatness.

Be happy and celebrate, of course. But resist the brag or rubbing another person’s nose in it.

As writer CS Lewis said: “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”

Say sorry as swiftly as possible

If you cause some harm or make a mistake that affects someone, then say that you’re sorry as soon as possible. Don’t delay or put it off.

Do not say: “I’m sorry, but…” as if you then go into why something happened the way it did, you’re just trying to justify your actions. It can open it all up again.

The idea is that you’re drawing a line under it, so that you and anyone involved can move on, without any negativity hanging in the atmosphere.

Just say “I’m sorry” and stop there. Leave it at that. Respectfully listen to their response but don’t get into it all again.

Know that for some people sometimes saying “I’m sorry” is merely another way of getting out of trouble again, but without any heartfelt sincerity not to repeat whatever it was that caused the harm. It’s often the cheap get-out of a self-centred person.

They are actually saying: “Put up with yet more of my poor behaviour until the next time I do something like it…”

So even better than saying you’re sorry is to ask the other person or people if they will forgive you. “Please, I hope you can you find it in your heart to forgive me for…”

If they won’t, accept that. You’ve played your part in making your amends, and their reaction is up to them.

Don’t let remorse overpower you either. “Remorse” derives from Latin re– meaning “expressing intensive force” and mordere “to bite”. (Spanish for “to bite” is morder.) So when we have remorse it is like we are biting away at ourselves, gnawing at our insides.

Reflect on it, how you could have handled or done something differently. Learn and grow from it. Then move on.

Always be honest – including to yourself

Dishonesty will always eat away at our insides too, like we have downed a phial of caustic acid. No one gets away with lies.

Everyone with the human condition has been designed this way. Otherwise the human race would have ceased to exist a long time ago.

Despite what we see in the media, most people live by overall honesty. Those that don’t are readily burning themselves up.

So it pays to be truthful. To ourselves as well.

Pay attention to your gut instinct. Sometimes our thoughts can convince us of something by not being honest to us, such as dressing up a bad motive for something as a good motive.

But our gut instinct is always telling the truth. It can only tell the truth.

Decide to be happy

If you are feeling depressed or consumed with anxiety, this can seem somewhat glib. But remembering that we do always have a choice over what thoughts we pay attention to is empowering.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way,” said psychiatrist Viktor Frankl in his brilliant bestselling book Man’s Search for Meaning, about his time surviving the inhumane Nazi concentration camps.

Look after yourself as someone you love

Love yourself. You may need some help to boost your self-love and self-esteem. One way that people can do this alone is to do estimable and loving things.

And go gently on yourself: we all make mistakes from time to time – that’s called being a human.

Carry yourself well too, walk tall. Posture plays a part in how we feel. Don’t walk around in rags either (unless that’s your chosen style) – treat yourself, even if that is just to a new T-shirt or pair of socks from the bargain shop.

Know acceptance

Accept people, places and things for who and what they are. Accept yourself too with all your talents and qualities.

This doesn’t mean rolling over if someone does or says something out of turn. But it means it’s useful to realise there is much that we are powerless over changing.

“Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my ‘luck’ as it comes, and fit myself to it.”

This is how it’s worded on the Just For Today card as used in 12 Steps recovery groups. 

Living every day as on the Just For Today card will help make the day a good one. More often than not, a brilliant one.

Be agreeable

Also from the Just For Today card: “Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticise not one bit, not find fault with anything and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.”

Try it, try it again for a week. If it helps, carry on.

Tell someone you trust all your secrets

“Secrets make us sick.” So goes the recovery phrase.

It’s based on experience and conclusion drawn by those who’ve revealed their secrets to such as a sponsor in Step Five of the Twelve Steps. The truth sets you free.

Confession like this is not solely part of the Twelve Steps. Indeed confession is the word used in the Roman Catholic religion for a similar method.

There are also varieties in Judaism, Islam, Hinduism and Buddhism. Then, people who see a coach/therapist will need to talk about things they’ve probably never spoken about to anybody else in order to get well and live in the solution. 

Letting out secrets by saying them aloud to someone else is as old as the spoken word. It is liberating. It frees us from self-imposed inner solitary confinement, it is freedom from the bondage of self. 

Ensure it’s someone you can absolutely trust. It’s best that the secrets are not involving them or won’t affect them either (so such as your romantic partner is usually not the person for this).

You need to fully trust whoever it is, so that nothing is kept inside.

Some of these are obvious big secrets. Others might seem small, but on letting them go you might realise they are bigger to you than you ever knew.

That’s why it’s important to let every secret go.

People who have done such as Step Five speak of knowing a new freedom, a lightness, re-connection with others. Most of those secrets seem to evaporate into the sky.

So that such as things that used to emotionally disturb in some way for years become completely forgotten. Other things that aren’t forgotten have their power taken away.

When these have all been let out, the daily discipline and maintenance is not to let any new ones arise and build up. If you do realise there’s a new one, let it out.

Be kind if you can, and you always can

It’s a spiritual law: being kind will always leave us feeling good inside. It raises our spirits.

When we feel good from the inside, we don’t need anything external from the outside to fill us up. That is whether it is a relationship, drink, work, drugs or any other unhealthy behaviour or habit.

When we give to the world we will always gain. In fact, the instant we give, we gain.

Cut down and quit

Be honest, is your lifestyle good for you? If you are doing something that you know is unhealthy in some way, cut down and aim to quit.

If you feel you need to cut down, cut down. If you discover that you cannot cut down, in actual fact then you probably need to quit.

Then once you’ve stopped, it is vital to stay stopped.

Make decisions

Many people suffer from indecision. It’s a painful way to be.

On the other hand, some people are always making decisions with no thought behind them or consideration of the consequences.

There can be childhood reasons for such as indecision. This is often from the fact that when growing up your input on any decision was never sought and if you gave an opinion on a decision being made its was ridiculed or ignored.

So get the balance. Have a think about any decision, but then make one.

In the Bhagavad Gita, the god Krishna says to protagonist and potential hero Arjun: “The important thing is to act, the outcome is secondary.”

In actual fact, by taking the action, there is already an outcome, at least a progressive and positive internal one.

Much of this is to do with living by love and not by fear. Trust that we are in a loving world of abundance.

Don’t worry. Relax

Each day, take 30 minutes to relax. Somewhere quiet, calm and still is best.

But if that’s not possible, focus on something that is still, such as the solid trunk of a tree. Notice the fleeting silences in among the hubbub, and think of the stillness and silence from where all the hustle and bustle had to once come.

In this time, relax. Breathe slowly and calmly.

Meditating again at the end of the day helps a great number of people.

Also, consider anything you might have done differently.

This is not to be harsh on yourself. But it’s so that you keep learning and growing.

Reach out

Asking for help takes great courage. But it is a sign of strength rather than weakness.

Everyone in successful recovery today has done it and if you asked them they will tell you it is the best thing they ever did. Including the author of this article.

How to live brilliantly, put verbally & visually: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ErXI-gRAEk